What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 04:48
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And i lived it daily.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Is it wise to SECRETLY expose a narcissist by telling others that he/she is a covert narcissist?
One cannot live in the past .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She married twice! .
Is using tech to track or monitor your partner’s activities a sign of love, insecurity, or control?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Why are white women not interested in dating Asian men? Are they not attractive to you at all?
He resisted the act ,that day.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Why did the American's mulberry harbor not hold up after D-Day?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
What is the nastiest thing you had your wife do and she loved it?
She found it foreign!.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My life is so biszare .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I waited trembling.
How did you get to be a leftist?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Is it possible for doctors to diagnose prostate cancer just by looking at a patient?
Would this be the day?
I couldn’t, believe it.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Has Messi scored against the Buffon?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We were not on the streets..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
As i do to all so called friends.?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But it wasn’t much.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Put me off passion for life!!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
We all went to grammer schools
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was seconnd youngest,
Who then, do I blame.?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I will be 64.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He knew the spot.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
My family never makes their pension either.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I did it because my mum asked me too!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I said to her
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She loved him until the end.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
So, i spoilt her more .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
This is soul school!.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Ive learnt so much.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
(And it was in our own minds.)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I was scared of men, in general
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I think the readers, may guess!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But ive been too sick for many years..
It was going to be , some day.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Im still living with it.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I was 9 years of age.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I don,t even have a pension.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
When she asked me how she looked .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
What did i know ?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But, we were locked up after school.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I write beautiful poetry .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I have no regrets .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
So whats the point in blame.
She was in good health!
I could never make a relationship work though!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Comes on , in middle age.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was very sick at this time too.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Especially a lifetime of it.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She wouldn,t have been !
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
All the time i was locked up.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.